Suicidal Elves
by Dan1007
Summary: no, it's not as bad as it sounds! Hermione walks in on Winky trying to drown her self. while Hermione trys to calm Winky down, someone walks in. 4 shot. It gets funnier in later chapters. chapter 3 part 2 now up! Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Suicidal Elves

By Dan1007

Chapter 1: Prefect's Bathroom Lifeguard

**A/N: Here's the first chapter! Enjoy!**

It was a warm spring night, and 6th year Hermione Granger was taking an evening stroll. She was replaying the past week in her head. Most of her thoughts revolved around one Ron Weasley's break up with Lavender Brown. She wasn't sure why she was Happy that Lavender broke up with Ron it's not like she _liked_ him or anything. Who was she kidding! She known fro a while now that she was in love with Ron, like she'd ever admit it! But her thoughts were interrupted, as she walked past the Prefect's bathroom she heard the high pitch cry of Winky the House Elf. Immediately she ran in to the unlocked bathroom. She saw a splash as the elf dove into the pool. Hermione froze. Of all the Elves she could have walked in on, she walked in on the Suicidal Elf! She quickly undressed **(A/N But not all the** **way you perverts!)** And dove into the pool. Once under water, Winky was not hard to find, with her bat-like ears flopping all over the place, and Hermione Quickly she grabbed the elf and pulled her to the surface of the water. What the _Hell _was the elf doing? Just then the elf sputtered:

"Why did you save Winky? Winky is shamed at having no master! What would her brothers and sisters say? Oh the shame I would bring to my family if they knew?"

"But Winky," started Hermione, who was drying off Winky. "Freedom is a good! You have been brain washed into thinking freedom is bad but it isn't!"

"That's what you think, Ms. Granger, but us House Elves do not think so! Look at what happened to Dobby! He has gone wild since he was set free! Winky do not like the sound of freedom! It is shame for an elf to be freed!"

"No! That's what the masters want you to think, Winky!" said Hermione, raising her voice. "The master just want elves around so the elves have to do all the things that they are to lazy to do, Winky! Freedom is when you don't have to wait hand and foot on obnoxious people!"

"Ms. Granger is insulting Winky's master! That is very rude of you! Master Crouch was a good master to Winky! He just misunderstood…" Winky stopped talking abruptly and began banging her head on the wall

"Bad Winky, Bad Winky!" shouted Winky, but Hermione pulled Winky away from the wall.

"Winky, there is no need for you to punish your self for speaking your opinion! If people did that, they would be so covered in bruises that they couldn't see!" shouted Hermione but just then the door opened and the person said:

"What the ruddy hell is going on here!" but then Hermione realized that she was still only in her underwear!

"Shit!" she said quietly.

**A/N: So that's the first chapter! Hope you enjoyed! So who is the person who walked in on Hermione and Winky? (But you probably figured that out though…)** **Please Review! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

Suicidal Elves

By Dan1007

**Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters, or Hogwarts, or Red Vines or that awesome line from AVPS**

**A/N: I'm back! Most of you probably figured out who the intruder is but just in case, you can read to find out! Enjoy! (Go Red Vines!)**

Chapter 2: The Intruder

"What the ruddy hell is going on here?" But then Hermione realized that she was still in her underwear.

"Shit!" she said quietly. She Felt Ron's eyes looking all over her body. She suddenly became self-conscience, and spat at Ron:

"Stop staring at me, your prat!" Ron's green eyes suddenly stopped moving and came to rest at the floor, and mumbled something like: "sorry" and all the while ears turning red, as his hair.

"So what is going on here?" asked Ron, courage building, daring to look at Hermione, who covered her self in a towel.

"Winky was trying to drown her self out of shame of freedom," explained Hermione, who chanced a look at Ron, who was staring at the floor, again.

"Well that's dumb," mumbled Ron, trying to get on Hermione's good side again, which right now, he knew he wasn't on. Hermione smiled

"I'm glad that someone understands the importance of elf freedom!" said Hermione, brightly. Ron smiled weakly.

"Now come on," said Hermione to Winky. "And let's get you back to Dobby in the kitchen," said Hermione to Winky.

"But first," said Hermione to Ron. "Turn around." He did so, and Hermione put her clothes back on. The three then left the Prefects bathroom, and dropped Winky off at the kitchen. When Dobby saw them he said:

"Thank you Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley for saving Winky, Dobby is so grateful, is there anything Dobby can you for you mister and miss?" asked Dobby

"Well I'm hungry, can I get a pack of Red Vines?" asked Ron.

"Ron, it's too late for candy!" protested Hermione, but Dobby had already returned with a king size pack of Red Vines.

"Thank you so much Dobby!" Ron then opened the packages of Red Vines and said:

"Red Vines, what the hell can't they do?" Hermione laughed at Ron, but Dobby just smiled. Ron then put then Red Vine down and bit a bite off dramatically. Ron and Hermione then walked back up to the Gryffindore tower and said goodnight to each other and went to bed. **(A/N: Separately of course)**

**A/N: That's the end of that chapter! Hope you enjoyed! The next chapter is Ron and Hermione thinking about the past events! Review Please!** **:D**


	3. Chapter 3 part 1

Suicidal Elves

By: Dan1007

Disclaimer: and I don't own AVPM either

Me: Will I ever own Harry Potter?

Dumbledore: there are some things in this world even I don't know, but probably no.

Me: Damnit!

Chapter 3, Part 1: Ron

**A/N: I'm back once again! Yay! Here is the final chapter part 1! Warning: Perverted Ron! Enjoy!**

Later that night, Ron lay in his four poster bed, thinking about the day. He knew he loved Hermione, that's why he tried to make her jealous with Lavender. But, Never, EVER, did he expect to see her in her Underwear! And, damn, she was hot! Lavender didn't even come with in ten- billion miles of Hermione when it came to good looks! It's such a shame that she doesn't believe it though. Because if she did, she would have the whole of Hogwarts wanting to go out with her. So, I guess I can't say it's a bad thing that she doesn't realize it! Anyway, I might ask Dumbledore to borrow to Pensive so I can relive this over, and over. Maybe one day… no I'm not that perverted! Well maybe I am but! Needless to say she is super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot! Any boy lucky enough to date her, I will rip his head off! Calm down Ron! I think I need an Ice-Cold shower.

**A/N: yeah I warned you or the horrors of perverted Ron! Sorry it was so short! But I hoped you enjoyed! Part 2 is coming soon!**


	4. Chapter 3 part 2

Suicidal Elves

By: Dan1007

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or AVPM or AVPS! My life sucks! JK :D

**A/N: Sooooo here I am again, with the final chapter of Suicidal elves! Enjoy!**

And also on that same night, Hermione lay awake, thinking about elves. Why do all elves hate freedom? Why can't they accept the concept of freedom is good? Why don't they make Dobby their roll model? And why did I walk in on the only elf who was trying to drown her self? And why didn't I lock the door? But I know one good thin g came out of tonight! Ron's eyes kept looking at my body which could mean 2 things: A: He's a pervert or B which is most likely: he likes me! It could be either but Ron doesn't seem like a pervert! Aw hell, most 16 year old boys are perverts! But Ron doesn't strike me as one. And B: I have to admit, the chances of it being B are pretty slim, But, I could be! So let's keep our fingers crossed for B!

THE END 

**A/N: Well there you have it, the official conclusion, hope you liked it, and please Review :D**


End file.
